Elle's Birth Story from Gi-ma

Elle’s Birth - Grandma’s Experience

Originally, my flight to Connecticut was scheduled for Tuesday, April 1^st and then to depart on Tuesday, April 15^th. As time crept closer to Brittany’s due date (April 3^rd), I kept thinking about Cannon’s arrival and I started getting a bit concerned. When I went for Cannon’s birth, Michael picked me up from the LaGuardia airport on the night of March 14^th. After I got in the car and we were just departing the airport, we started getting texts from Brittany telling us that she was having contractions and they were pretty close together. That is a car ride I will never forget as Michael got us home to their apartment in record time. We picked up Brittany and got her to the hospital just in time for her water to break and she was fully in labor. Cannon was born on March 15^th. I didn’t want to get there too late for Elle’s arrival or come at an inconvenient time so, after several conversations with Brittany, my flight was changed to a few days earlier, Saturday, March 29^th.

I was so relieved to have arrived before the baby decided she was going to come! It was wonderful spending time with Brittany and Michael and developing a special bond with Cannon, I really loved this time! I enjoyed becoming familiar with their beautiful new home and neighborhood. I enjoyed getting to know their routines and how things worked. I also enjoyed becoming reacquainted with some of their friends and also meeting some of their friends for the first time. I was amazed with Brittany, her pregnancy was at full term but she wasn’t acting like it at all…no waddling, no gasping for breath after climbing flights of stairs. Although I’m sure she wasn’t comfortable, she carried herself as if this was all quite normal.

The Tuesday following my arrival, Brittany had her 40 week doctor’s appointment. She came home pretty disappointed because he told her that she had not dilated or dropped at all. Since she was going for a VBACK, he told her that he would give her until April 14^th and then he would have to schedule a c-section. The doctor also told her that if she hadn’t had the baby by her week 41 appointment, if she was dilated even to a ‘1’, there were things he could do to ‘help move things along’.  Brittany seemed quite committed to NOT making it to the 14^th. As the days passed I was getting concerned that her delivery date would be really late and I would have to leave too soon. I was getting worried about her not having the help and support she was definitely going to need after having the baby. I’m sure Brittany was feeling my anxiousness but she handled this time with so much poise!

The days passed with Brittany having contractions now and then but nothing that developed into labor. In the meantime, I loved everything happening around me! Michael had started building an office in their basement. I was so impressed with him, although most of what he was doing was nothing he had done before, he was committed to learning how to do it and doing it right. While I was there he moved and installed all sorts of electricity (you can be sure that that small office has more juice running to it than the rest of the house combined!), he cut out part of a wall and installed a door and he framed the office. I’m excited for the things he is going to teach his children to do! I loved watching Brittany as a mother and nurture a very active, strong willed, loving little boy. Cannon is a marvel! I loved getting to know Cannon during this ‘wait time’! It is true that, while playing with me, he managed to trip into the fireplace and get a cut on his face that required 3 stitches but he was a real trouper.

April 9^th, the day of Brittany’s week 41 appointment had arrived.  She was hoping and praying…all she needed was to be dilated to a ONE for Dr. Lamonica to ‘help move things along’. Brittany and I planned to take a ‘healthy’ walk the morning of the appointment to possibly help get things moving. Brittany, knowing the area much better than me, planned the route for our walk. In hindsight, had I known the route I would have refused to allow such a strenuous walk! She told me that she thought it would be about a 3 mile walk, it turned out to be a 4 ½ mile walk up several VERY steep hills. I was amazed with her, she had to stop only one time for about 30 seconds to catch her breath, other than that, she kept a strong pace the entire walk! Wow – At 41 weeks pregnant! It’s amazing she didn’t deliver on one of those hills!...Our walk paid off! Brittany went for her 41 week appointment and she was dilated to a TWO!!

At about 10:50 pm on April 9^th, I got a text from Kim telling me that I had better check on Brittany because, although she was in the room right next to me, she had texted him to tell him that she was having intense labor pains. Just after reading Kim’s text, Brittany came in to let me know that it was time to go to the hospital. It all happened so fast but it felt like it was in slow motion…Cory, a dear friend of theirs suddenly appeared carrying only a pillow. She came with comforting support and providing the peace that Brittany and Michael needed to be able to leave Cannon in her loving hands. Brittany was very quiet as she had to stop every couple of minutes to ride out another contraction. We finally got into the cars, Michael and Brittany in one car, me following them in the other. We had to stop or slow down several times on the 7 mile drive to the hospital as Michael was making every effort to make the drive comfortable for Brit.

When we got to the hospital, it was probably about 11:30pm and the doors into the labor and delivery were locked, only to be opened by a nurse sitting at the adjacent desk. Unfortunately, the nurse must have been on break because no one was around. Due to the late hour, the lights were dimmed and it felt like there should have been a ‘closed’ sign hanging in the window. Brittany was having some very strong labor pains, leaning on Michael. Luckily, there was a sweet little Hispanic cleaning lady who saw our dilemma…she spoke very little English but she used her badge to open the door and lead us to the check in desk. Brittany was quickly checked in and then taken to the same room she was taken to when she checked in with Cannon. Once on the bed, the doctor checked Brittany and announced that she was definitely in labor and they would not be sending her home (we were pretty sure that wasn’t going to even be an option!). I left the room for a minute to get something for Brittany and the sweet little lady who let us in was waiting outside to make sure that Brittany was okay. She didn’t speak much English but she told me congratulations and she would pray for her. I gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek, I felt like she was one of the angels watching over us that night.

Brittany was moved into a beautiful Labor and Delivery room. Monitors were put on her and an IV shunt was inserted into her hand. Brittany was very clear that she did not want any IV’s or pain meds until she had dilated to at least a 7 or in the case of an emergency. She felt that possibly, that could have been part of the reason Cannon had to come by c-section and she wanted to prevent a c-section if at all possible this time around. When planning for this delivery, one of the things they had decided on was to hire a ‘doula’ to help them with the delivery. I had never heard of a doula before…a doula is not a medical professional; she is like a coach and an advocate for the parents. About an hour or so after being moved into the labor and delivery room, the doula, ‘Angel’ arrived (VERY appropriately named). Angel was amazing! She had a lot of experience and was familiar with the hospital and the hospital staff all knew her and obviously appreciated her and trusted respected her roll. Brittany and Michael quickly learned to trust and appreciate her also.

Brittany’s contractions became extremely intense. The doctors were amazed at how long her pains were lasting…each contraction went on for about 5 minutes. Brittany was coached by Angel to try several different positions that would be most comfortable. It turned out that the one that was most ‘comfortable’ for Brittany was the ‘slow dance’ position. She and Michael stood in the hospital room ‘slow dancing’ for several hours, all the while the contractions grew in intensity. I have always loved Michael…(since the first time we met him and he sat on our living room sofa having enough ‘guts’ to put his arm around our daughter within minutes of meeting her parents.) but my love for Michael grew to trust in that hospital room as I watched him lovingly and tenderly hold my daughter up and carry her through these long difficult hours. Michael was able to offer her the security and the confidence that she could do this, she was not doing this alone. Michael had what no other person on this earth could offer her. My heart is so full of love and reverence as I reflect on that experience.

Brittany was in excruciating pain. Finally, when she was dilated to an 8 ½, they offered her an epidural and she accepted. I left the room when they gave her the epidural. When I was waiting to go back into the room, I prayed so hard that the Lord would be with Brittany… When I returned…Oh my goodness! She was smiling and even joking! She was exhausted and worn out but the Lord definitely answered my prayers, that epidural was a WONDER drug!!

Brittany continued to dilate and the time finally came for her to push. The baby had dropped some, she actually came down a lot further than Cannon ever got but she wasn’t moving down the birth canal quite enough. Brittany was a warrior; she pushed with everything she had. Since her contractions were so long, she could get several strong pushes in with one contraction. My job was to count out her contractions. I think I counted to 10 about a thousand times. She pushed for well over an hour when the doctor told her that the baby hadn’t moved much. Since Brittany had already had a c-section, hers was a high risk delivery. They were concerned about the safety of both Brittany and the baby. The doctor explained the risks and told Brittany that she would only allow her to push for so long before doing a c-section. She told Brittany that she could push for another hour but then, if no progress, they would have to decide about a c-section. I didn’t think Brittany had any more to give but she gave even more that next hour, committed to pushing and bringing her baby home. The doctors, the nurses, Angel…everyone watched in amazement as Brittany kept giving it more, never giving in.

An hour later, around 1:30 pm, the doctor checked Brittany again and let her know that there was still no progress. She told Brittany that, in her professional opinion, she would have to recommend a c-section. It was a moment that sort of stood still…for the last 9 months Brittany and read and educated herself on VBACKs and she had prepared in every way to make that successful. Then, after hours of labor and pushing, giving it everything she had, she was told that it was time to concede. I realized at that moment that it wasn’t just Brittany who had worked so hard for this, it was Michael also. I think Michael wanted this so much because it was so important to Brittany but none the less, her words sort of hung in the air. Michael thanked the doctor for her advice and then asked if everyone would please leave the room so that he could have some time with his wife. After about 10 minutes, Michael came out and we all returned. There was a feeling of peace as we entered the room. Brittany and Michael were united and comforted with the knowledge that they had done EVERYTHING they could have possibly done; there was no defeat, just acceptance. Although they were both exhausted, they were ready and anxious to meet their baby girl!

Within minutes, Brittany was prepped and sent to the operating room. I was left with Michael for a few minutes while he suited up in his operating room jumpsuit and blue hat and shoe covers. Michael went to the operating room and I went to the waiting room. Michael promised to text me as soon as the baby was in the nursery. About 45 minutes later, I GOT THE TEXT!!! I couldn’t get to the nursery fast enough!!! When I got there, I found myself looking through the same window that I had when Cannon was born. There she was, the most beautiful baby girl!! She looked just like Cannon!!! I was shocked at how similar they look!! BUT…she has DARK HAIR!!! (I was so excited about that)! When Cannon was born, the nurse was so nice, because I was the grandmother, she let me go into the nursery. This time, they said that only the fathers could go in the nursery so I had to just watch through the window. My granddaughter was only about 8 feet away and I couldn’t touch her or talk to her…it was killing me! Michael told me that the surgery had gone well and that they were still sewing Brittany up, she had a lot of scarring and some damage had been done during the pushing phase. He said that she would be in recovery for a while. Meanwhile I stood glued to that window watching that beautiful baby, she was just perfect! My heart felt like it was going to explode!

Finally, a cute little nurse intern came and snuck me in to see Brittany in the recovery room. I wasn’t supposed to go back there and I could only stay for a minute but I couldn’t believe how relieved I was to see her, she looked worn out but she was so happy and glowing, holding her baby girl. She just radiated!

Brittany and the baby were finally brought to the hospital room where I was waiting for them. I was finally able to hold that little angel and see her up close. She was perfect! Absolutely flawless! I felt like I already knew her, like we had an understanding or something. It was how I felt when I held Brittany for the first time…sort of like we had an inside joke. I loved that moment.

After about an hour, once I knew that Brittany was okay, I felt this overwhelming need to leave and go get Cannon. I left Brittany and Michael and unnamed baby girl and went and picked up Cannon…he needed to be a part of this beautiful family time.

When Cannon saw his baby sister for the first time, he was intrigued yet cautious. He was so gentle, he wanted to touch her. When Michael showed him how to gently touch her head and kiss her, he was so sweet to her. Cannon has such a tender loving heart, he didn’t like it that his mommy had an ‘ouch’ on her tummy. He wanted to kiss mommy but he didn’t want to get too close to her, it really disturbed him that she was hurt. He also didn’t like that his baby had an ‘ouch’ on her belly button so he would only touch her head.

I got to stay with Cannon at home while Michael stayed with Brittany and baby at the hospital. It turns out that those ‘waiting’ days before the baby was born were such a blessing! With his parents gone, Cannon was comfortable with his ‘Gi-Ma’ (as he now calls me). I had been there long enough for him to know how his world worked, I’m SO grateful for that time!!

The baby was born on Thursday (April 10^th). A couple of days later, Michael and Brittany finalized their decision on the baby’s name…This beautiful little girl’s name is Elle Louise Murdock. Her middle name is after her two great grandmothers, both Louise’s. When Brittany and Michael called my mom to tell her that they had named their baby after her, I could just feel how much it meant to my mother. She was so touched and honored. Elle is named after two wonderful women who have touched so many lives. I pray that Elle will know what an honor it is to carry their name.

Brittany and baby came home on Monday, April 14^th, it was so exciting to have them come home!! About 5 minutes after they had come home, I went downstairs, I didn’t realize that Cannon had followed me and, when I wasn’t looking, he jumped to me and landed on the ground. Long story short…Cannon broke his wrist. UGH! I felt so horrible!  (within 10 days of grandma being there, Cannon got stitches and a broken wrist, I swear, I LOVE that little guy!!!)

 There was no possible way that I was going to leave the next day on my scheduled flight. I was able to extend my trip until the following Sunday, the 20^th.  The next few days were pretty rocky for Brittany as her healing wasn’t quite going as smoothly as hoped, she was having severe pain in her back and she had to return to the hospital a couple of times. She was having problems with her kidneys. Recovering from a c-section is difficult enough but after all of the pushing that she did, it actually caused some additional damage. She is being forced to take it really easy to allow her body to heal.

I feel so blessed to have been a part of this miracle. When Brittany and Nick were born, I remember the overwhelming feeling of love, a love like no other love I had felt before. The love I feel for my grandchildren is that same love but it is also compounded with a gratitude like I have never felt before.

I am also grateful for the warm and loving home that Brittany and Michael have created to raise our grandchildren in. I was there for much longer than expected and I am sure that that is very difficult for people to have visitors for that long but I felt nothing but love and acceptance. I am eternally appreciative for the gift of this experience.