Elle's Birth Story, Love Dad and Mom

Elle Louise was born at 2:36 on April 10th.  She weighed 8lb 11oz and was around 20 inches long.  This is how she got here, through the eyes of Mom:

My pregnancy with Elle was a dream come true.  I enjoyed my time with Cannon as  the days flew by and I never felt overly inhibited by my growing belly or pregnancy symptoms.  As her due date grew close I felt almost too good to be full term.  It seemed like my head and my heart were ready for the baby to arrive but that my body was perfectly satisfied with eternal pregnancy.  When I showed up to my 40-week appointment I was still not dilated or effaced and the baby had not dropped at all.  I went back home to my family and an anxious grandmother with no new news and even though I was excited to meet my daughter, I felt no rush to force her here with a scheduled c-section.

The next week I went to my 41-week appointment prepared.  My mom and I had taken a 4.5 mile walk that morning and Michael had done everything he could to move the baby along as well.  I prayed that I would at least be dilated to 1cm so that Doctor Lamonica would be able to help the baby along in some way.  I jumped for joy (read shrieked in pain) when the doctor said I had dilated to 2cm and that he was able to hopefully jumpstart labor by stretching my cervix.  I called Michael crying tears of joy with the hope that this news would allow my body to go into labor naturally and that we would not have to have a repeat c-section since the first surgery was so emotionally and physically draining for both Michael and I.

The rest of the day I was uncomfortable.  I felt crampy due to the forced dilation from earlier and was low on energy.  Around 10pm I went to bed and my contractions started shortly afterward.  At first I didn’t realize what was happening and fell back to sleep between them.  When they started to quickly get closer together I texted my dad to tell him what was happening.  I thought it would be fun for him to be the first to know even though he could not be around.  After I was sure and the contractions were between 3 and 5 mins apart I called Michael on the phone and he came upstairs, seeming to already know what was going on.  We finished packing our bags, woke my mom, and called my good friend Kori Haring to come sleep over and take care of Cannon.  By the time we left the house about 30 minutes later my contractions were 1-3 minutes apart and excruciatingly painful.  Getting our bags packed seemed so slow-going with my need to stop everything with each contraction.  I don’t remember much about the drive but that Michael was willing to stop in the middle of the road whenever another contraction came so that we weren’t bumping over potholes as we drove.  My mom followed behind us in Michael’s car so that she would have a way to get back to Cannon as soon as possible.

When we got to the hospital we were greeted warmly and told where to go.  When we got to the doors of labor and delivery there was nobody at the desk and we had to stand in the hallway and wait for what seemed like forever until a cleaning lady saw what was happening and took us through a back hallway.  I wished I could have thanked her but was too focused on getting through the contractions as they inched closer together.  We checked in and were admitted to a triage room where I was checked and said to be dilated to 5cm, 90% effaced and the baby had dropped!  We felt like this was some sort of miracle because when we labored with Cannon he was never able to descend into my birth canal at all.  We were all thrilled, though I had never been in so much pain before in my life.  At this point my contractions were coming rapidly and it was getting hard for me to do anything but breathe while they were present.

Our goal with this labor process was to do things as naturally as was medically recommended until I was dilated to at least a 7, to allow the baby to drop as much as possible.  The problem with Cannon was that he was faced sideways in the birth canal, creating the problem with his dissension.  We felt like the extra medications that I had during my labor with him were a large reason that his descent was nonexistent and led to a c-section.  We knew that the success rate of VBACs (vaginal birth after cesarean) was about 50% and I felt like as long as I did everything that I could to prevent a repeat c-section, I would walk away with confidence no matter the actual outcome. 

As my contractions got more and more intense I could do nothing but breathe and hum loudly to help myself focus.  Most of the contractions were endured standing up in a bear hug position around Michael’s neck, swaying from side to side to try and move the baby down and distribute the pain more evenly.  We tried other positions to try and give Michael some relief from my pulling on him but nothing else was tolerable and I needed his closeness for strength, though I kept thinking of how I must be tiring him so quickly.  I did not have any medication at this point and could feel my body taking the necessary steps to deliver my little girl.  I was checked again and had progressed to 7cm.  This was great progress but still not enough to give in to the overwhelming urge I had to push through my contractions, which were now coming 2 and 3 at a time before any relief.  When the doctor came and checked me a third time I had dilated to 8.5cm and the baby had dropped to a -2 station (-3 is crowning).  At this time I felt that I had endured enough unmedicated pain and that we had accomplished our goal of allowing my body to labor naturally in order to help the baby descend.  When offered the epidural at this point (during a contraction) I did not hesitate to accept it. 

The contractions that followed the acceptance of the medication seemed to be the most brutal because I was no longer mentally committed to enduring the pain.  I was so grateful to have my mom, my doula Angel, and Michael all there to support me.  My mom was soft, respectful and so helpful as she stayed close, kept people updated on our progress, kept tabs on Cannon and got me anything I needed.  Angel was proactive and considerate, giving me options and ideas that would help make me the most comfortable throughout the laboring process.  Michael was my rock.  When I think of labor with this baby I see the dark backs of my eyelids and I feel Michael all around me.  He supported me physically as we rocked through each contraction and he somehow filled all of my senses with the exact love and strength that I was reaching for.  He was my teammate, my helpmeet, and I literally felt that with his touch, he took some of my pain upon himself.

When the anesthesiologist arrived my mom and Angel were asked to leave the room and Michael sat in front of me so that he couldn’t see the needle.  I remembered the epidural process well and was not afraid.  After it was placed, relief was almost immediate and I opened my eyes for what truly felt like the first time since entering that room.  I could breathe!  I could smile!  I even seemed to have a sense of humor!  When my mom and Angel came back into the room their eyes opened like saucers with my change in appearance.  I saw Angel for the first time and was pleased to match her soothing voice with her pretty curly hair.  It was around this time that I was able to notice secondary discomforts.  My stomach was growling and my hair was in my face.  And why did I have socks on still?  Everyone in the room seemed to skip around with the relief the epidural had given.  Michael took off my socks, my mom brought me Jell-o and Angel braided my hair, making me somehow feel beautiful.

Sensing my exhaustion at this point, the nurse told me to rest and I fell asleep for what felt like days.  The doctor returned, woke me, and told us I was ready to push.  With the next contraction I started with conviction, asking for direction and trying to implement it.  I was lucky that the epidural took the pain away but left me able to feel and move enough to get into several different pushing positions.  I was determined.  When the nurses didn’t notice my contractions, I pushed anyway.  I tried to get as many pushes in as possible during each contraction, stopping only when advised to for the baby’s safety.  I was having 2-4 contractions without breaks at this point and was exhausted but felt lucky to have more opportunities to try.  The doctor came in after I had pushed for an hour and told me I had 90 minutes to get the baby out or she was going to recommend a repeat c-section.  I looked at the clock and noted the time.  I felt like this was the motivation I needed to force me to push harder; so I did.  I was focused and somehow didn’t care who was there, how I looked or what I had to do to get her out.  Unfortunately, the Jell-o actually ended up giving me a terrible reflux and I was not able to push without tasting Jell-o flavored stomach acid.  I threw most of it up at some point but the effects never went away, though it did not get in the way of being able to push.

Ninety minutes passed and the doctor came back.  I said a silent prayer that we had progressed.  She looked up at me with disappointment on her face and my heart locked in place.  It was ok.  I had done absolutely everything I could do.  Michael asked the staff and our family to leave and he started to cry.  He had been so strong and had guided me so well; we had done it all together and I knew he was crying for me.  I held him as best I could and tried to transfer my confidence to him so that he could know that I would be all right.  We said a prayer and seemed to decide together that we could face the upcoming surgery with confidence and courage.  Everyone came back in and we prepared for the c-section, this time with a sense of accomplishment rather than despair.

Michael and I both talked to the anesthesiologist and asked him to take special care with my medication since I had not been properly numbed during my previous c-section.  He tested me several times and was amazed at how long I was able to feel his touch and how long I was able to move my legs.  He called in the hospital’s head anesthesiologist for advice.  I am so grateful he was attentive to my needs and my body.  My chest was wrapped in a heated blanket to keep me warm in the cold operating room and Michael came to join me with a smile on his face.  Though seemingly impossible, we enjoyed this time together.  We talked about our baby girl, knowing she would be with us in minutes, no more wondering when.  We joked and smiled and bonded.  The surgery had been going on for some time when I felt a familiar tug and told Michael that she was being pulled out.  I could hardly wait to hear her cry.  It was low and raspy but sweet and strong.  The doctor cut her chord and brought her around the curtain for a quick look before they scrubbed her clean.  We cried and marveled at the few things we had been able to notice in that quick look.  She looked so much like Cannon!  They handed her to Michael and he brought her to my face for kisses.  We were able to hold her for a long time and I felt a bond form that my heart has only known with my own mother.  It was an instant maternal bond with another woman, this one straight from heaven, waiting for my love and guidance.  I knew we would be friends forever.

After she was whisked away, my surgery continued for what seemed like a very long time.  As it turned out, I had badly lacerated my uterus from the intense pushing done in labor and it required major repair on top of the closing of the incisions.  This also caused excessive bleeding, which irritated my internal organs.  Eventually I was taken to a recovery room where I got to actually hold my baby for the first time.  Michael brought her to me and my mom and Angel were able to come see us.  Everyone fell quickly in love with this sweet little spirit, fresh from heaven and with a very soothing aura.

The doctor came and visited with me, letting me know the details of how my surgery had gone to prepare me for a bit of a rough recovery.  She also let me know that if we have a third baby, I needed to just schedule a c-section to keep everyone safe.  

We spent the next several days with our baby girl, getting to know her and introducing her to important people.  Cannon met her just hours after her birth and fell instantly in love with her.  He knew it was his baby “this-ter” and kissed her fuzzy little dark-haired head.  He was weary to come close to me in the hospital because he didn’t like that I was hurt.  The only time he would even touch me was for a goodbye kiss.  In a way it broke my heart, but it showed me what a tender boy he really is.

After meeting our baby we narrowed our list of 20+ names down to 10: Alexis, Aspen, Autumn, Cora, Eliza, Elle, Erin, Robin, Summer and Sutton.  As time went on we eliminated the contenders down to Autumn, Elle, Erin and Summer.  Then eventually landed on either Erin or Elle.  Knowing we wanted to use Louise as her middle name to honor her Great Grandmother Louise Murdock and Great Grandmother Louise Lee we didn’t know what to do.  We both felt that Elle was the right name for her but weren’t sure if we wanted her name to flow like Elouise.  We went back and forth about settling on Erin or maybe calling her Louise Elle and using her middle name but could not feel comfortable with these options.  After much discussion we took a step back and realized that Elouise was a beautiful name and that we didn’t mind if that was how it flowed, as long as her first given name was Elle and that her middle name was Louise. 

Her name flowed easily off of our tongues and we were able to bond with her even further since we had a name to call her by.  I am grateful for a daughter, and for Elle in particular. She has already shown how sweet and peaceful she will be throughout her life.  Our little family is so blessed to have her here.

And here is Dad's version:

Having a baby for a second time is simultaneously more nerve-wracking and more exciting. This time around I knew what I was getting myself into, both the good, and the not so good.

My strong and beautiful Brit decided to courageously bring this baby into the world the way that God intended, naturally. Though that is how it is “supposed” to work, sometimes it’s just not possible, and I’m indeed truly grateful for the skilled and brilliant doctors who have given my family 2 beautiful and healthy children.

Since Brit decided to try for a VBAC, we had the fun/intense task of waiting to see when this little girl of ours wanted to come out. Having expected a similar experience to Cannon, I fully intended this baby to come exactly 1 day after it’s due date. Unfortunately (or fortunately) Brit’s mom had planned her trip with a similar expectation. The waiting game was a fun one but it gave us extra time to spend with our boy Cannon before he permanently shed his “only-child” mantle and took on the role of Big Brother. It was good for Grandma Taufer (aka “gee-ma”) to have this extra time too because Cannon was able to grow very comfortable with her which would prove invaluable during Brit and I’s absence from home over the next week.

Well after a week of waiting past the due date our little girl finally decided it was time to meet her mom, dad and brother. Just like with Cannon, she wanted to deprive her parents of as much sleep as possible by starting labor just as mom laid down to go to bed for the night. Luckily our dear friend (& neighbor) Kori Haring was more than happy to come spend the night at our house and take care of our little boy while mom and dad left for the hospital with Cheryl there for support.

I was downstairs about to start a TV show when Brit called me from bed to inform me that it was time. I was so much more excited this time for everything to happen. I’m certain it was because I was less ignorant as to what was to come. I knew that we were going to have another little Cannon, only this time it would be a baby girl.

We arrived at the hospital, driving 0.03 mph over any speed bumps. Whoever thought it was a good idea to install speed bumps in the hospital parking lot must have never driven a laboring wife over a rough road. Quickly after arrival we knew this was no false alarm and Brit was quickly admitted.

To say I was proud of my Brittany would be the understatement of my lifetime. She was so strong as contraction after contraction hit her like a relentless wave of pain. I could feel her agony in my heart as I watched her cringe and double over as her body did everything it could to force this human being out.

We wanted to do everything we possibly could to deliver this baby naturally and so we decided this time we would avoid pain meds as long as possible and that we’d hire a duela to guide us on this journey. That duela was and angel named Angel. It’s hard to invite a complete stranger to be a part of a memory that will be with you forever. We quickly learned that her presence would be a forever welcome addition to our eternal story of Elle’s birth.

Labor was intense and I wish so bad that there was more I could do to help. I’m so grateful that Angel suggested that Brit lean on me as if we were slow dancing. Being able to be that close to her and to help support her was such a beautiful moment I will always cherish. She was doing great, but there was still a long ways to go. Brit wanted to dilate to a 7 before taking and pain meds, and at an 8 ½ she finally gave in. She kicked her goal’s but and I will never forget that. It took every ounce of strength she had to make it that far. She is truly amazing. Perhaps the funniest part of the delivery was when her pain meds finally kicked in. It was not because she was loopy in any way, but really the opposite, she was finally herself for the first time since getting to the hospital. The nurses and Angel had no idea who this bright eyed, optimistic smiling beauty was. She definitely was not the same person who had been fighting through the pain for the past 3 hours. Needless to say, everyone was happy that Brit was no longer suffering.

Hours went by, Brit finally got to a 10 after getting a little rest in, and it was time to push. The good news was that unlike Cannon, this little girl had actually descended. Not much, but she was at least engaged. Brit pushed for hours. Trying so hard to get the baby out. Fortunately this time her epidural was strong enough to lessen the pain but not so strong that her legs were noodles (with Cannon Brit could not even move her legs due to numbness). This allowed for her to push in varying positions. Thankfully Angel could help coach Brit and give us options to try and make things move along.

Again, slowly and painfully, we realized that we weren’t going to see our baby enter the world naturally. The sting of this realization was infinitely less painful than the first time, really just because we had experienced it before. We asked everyone to leave the room to talk it over and for the first time I broke down. I had seen the strength and the efforts of my wife and I did not want those to be in vain. Her efforts proved to us that we had done everything and with a calm resolve she knew it was time to see our baby. Her growth in this moment from 2 years ago is indescribable and I knew in that moment that this was going to be the greatest mother this little girl could ever ask for.

We had voiced our concern about repeating a traumatic c-section like we experienced with Cannon and I’m so glad we had said something. Everyone was extra cautious to make sure that Brit was comfortable and that she was ready for each of the steps for this massive surgery. Brit was amazing, stunning, beautiful, strong and just glowing as she calmly waited to hear the first cries of our baby girl.

I sat as close as possible to Brit and while holding her head/shoulder we heard together our little baby take her first breadth. I peeked around to see the most precious little baby girl. I could instantly see she looked exactly like her brother when he was a baby and she had beautiful dark hair. Her skin was so dark compared to Cannon and luckily her head wasn’t as temporarily deformed from attempted delivery like Cannon’s had been. When Cannon came out all I could see was Kim, Brit’s dad. When our second child was born all I could see was our first. It was a beautiful thing to see our children share so much so early.

We held and kissed our baby close and this time we understood what it all meant. We could imagine her first steps, her first words, the happiness and the struggles that awaited our now larger family. In that moment I could not be more excited nor could I have felt more blessed. I’m so grateful to God and His plan that allows us not only to create such beautiful life, but also to be able to be connected for forever.

Like with Cannon we wanted to wait until we had met her to name her. We knew we wanted to use Louise as her middle name to name her after her two amazing Great Grandmothers; Great Grandma Murdock and Great Grandma Lee. We had a list of about 20 names for her first given name to choose from. We quickly narrowed it down to about 8, some of the finalists were Sutton, Autumn, Alexis, Blake and a few others. Finally it came down to Erin and Elle. Of course we chose Elle and I’m so glad we did. It is a beautiful and tender name. She has been the most amazing baby and such a delight.

That night Cannon came to meet  his little sister and he could not have been more amazing. He was tender and soft and quickly recognized that this was the “baby th-Isth-Ter” we had been telling him about. He gave her a gently rub on her head and then leaned in to kiss her. It was beautiful and the beginning of an amazing relationship that I am excited to see every step of.

Brit had an almost palpable bond to this little girl that I did not see as much with Cannon. I could tell that Brit and Elle had a special bond that I can only imagine will be comparable to the unmatched strength of Brit’s bond to her mother. Cheryl was such a great support and I’m glad she was there for her daughter.

Anyone with children knows that words can’t describe the joy I experienced watching this girl come to this earth. I love her so much already and she barely knows I exist. I hope I can be the best dad possible and raise this girl to be a beautiful woman just like her mom. I thank the Lord for this beautiful gift of life and for a wonderful wife who was so courageous in bringing Elle Louise Murdock to be a part of this little Murdock family.